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Some other Comments
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by Chris “Taco Prince” Shumard Ah, where to start? I’m supposed to give out anything I can on what is to be rumored as the greatest bout of all time. Actually the “rumor” is something I just thought of in my little mind, you know, to keep you in suspense, something like everyone else is talking about it, you know? And you really want to hear more about it. You are like: “Whoa, if a bunch of people are talking about it, it must be pretty freakin’ sweet.“ But anywho, the whole ordeal is a little “adolescent” and “childish” in my view. Two of the worst Magic players in history “dueling” it out doesn’t sound exciting to me. I guess they’re so used to seeing who can copy/paste faster. In this case, it’s quite the opposite. Eric Richard Hoffman and Adam Matthew Whitlatch (nice last names guys, haha) are gonna have to blast at each other without the convenience of the internet or magazines or any information regarding the past or current top successful decks or deck types. They will thirst for a deck list, but that’d be cheating since this “contest” only allows the players to use their own creativity and deck building skills to win (note to self, and well, others too: this is a first). Sounds crazy? It is. But so are the two boys competing (ha, I called them boys). Narrowing down the “no-no decks” has taken some work, with the two of them conjuring up the deck types that cannot be played. Some familiar decks like Stompy, Super-Gro, Sligh, Illusions-Donate, and even mono-blue control have been posted as decks neither can play. Even older, maybe even unfamiliar decks like 5-color Black, are eliminated from the match. Originality and surprise will be key, but that will be difficult since many of the decks are placed with their style of play and may not be legal to play. Okay, I am sitting here at Adam’s computer desk at his laptop chopping away at this little report. It is so unbelievably uncomfortable, since my back hurts and I think I am developing Carpel Tunnel because of these damned tiny keys. Some of you wonder why I am bothering with a Magic article if I, and I quote, “don’t even play anyways”. Hmm. Well, first off, and to tell the truth, the game has gotten to be a bore for me. I don’t think I can get any better, wait now, I didn’t say I was the best player ever, better in a sense that building decks on my own doesn’t get easier. Sure, I could get better at drafting or whatever, but that’s not the basis of the game. I think originality goes a long way. Others disagree, but I try to be noble and make my own decks. Sure I check out other websites, its just that I like reading other articles. And the deck lists I see? I am checking on what I can expect to come around if I ever play competitively (qualifier, bigger tournament, etc.) or even see in Galesburg, since there will probably always be someone willing to try them out. #hint hint# I have been around the Magic world for about four and a half years now (yikes!), and I never thought I would tag along for the length of time I have. I have seen so many players come and go, and its really quite sad. Sad how I, at one time, kinda liked it because of the deals they gave out as they left. Morphlings for $4? Sure. Dual lands for 5? Done. Oh what I’d give to have a lot of the old players back. You see, its actually better to have more players around than cards of your own. Like, for example, I, at one time, had quite the impressive collection for a player (Magic player, not playah) who didn’t dump that much money into the game. I have watched my stuff dwindle down quite a bit, but have made my money back I am sure. I’m sure that I have actually spent about anywhere from 300-500 dollars of my own money on Magic. From cards that I have sold I have gotten about double that, and I still have over a thousand dollars worth of cards ( some don’t think so, but its there). One good thing is that any money I have spent on Magic, fast food, clothing, and just about anything else have come from selling my cards here and there. I made forty dollars one day of pure profit and little effort ( now it sounds like I’m one of those infomercial guys ). I could actually live comfortably ( for a teenager anyways ) for some time if I cared much any more. I think now its MY time to give deals out. I have before, and I still do. I think I do it because of the guilt of the good deals ( really good deals ) I have gotten before. My Chromium from the Chronicles expansion for your 4 Force of Wills, 4 Serrated Arrows (which really kicked ass at the time), and some other good rares. Absolutely. I have done trades like that for a long time now, and its catching up to me. I think now that the game doesn’t have the appeal that it did when I was a starry-eyed 8th grader. I have had some good times playing, but recently, I think my luck has been fading, well, more like faded. I hate to see a “net-deck” do well and win a tournament and get kickass packs while I work fairly hard to get 4 Dwarven Bloodboilers out of about 20 Judgment packs so far. Oh, I see that Adam pulled another good foil rare (aka Mutilate and Anurid Brushopper ) while I pull a foil Morbid Hunger or a foil Overload or something really great like that!!! I recall me winning a Type 2 back when with an original deck and got 10 packs of Mercadian Masques ( woo hoo, I know ) while “Da Boss” Dave Nash only got 3. I opened my packs in awe, only to realize that I pulled a Horn of Plenty, Tower of the Magistrate, and 8 other gay ass rares. I watch Dave open his packs in awe, only to realize that he pulled a Squee, Thrashing Wumpus, and a Rishadan Port. He pulled 2 foils too, while I didn’t get one. Grr. I was a little angry. I think I left most of my prize lying on the table. Another thing that has really taken its toll lately are my hands that I have drawn. Its ludicrous to see how impossibly pathetic the draws I get are. I can’t really go on with that. I hate it. ( sorry you guys for posting this in the contest thingy I was doing, but I decided I’d just get it over with and write the two articles that I wanted at the same time. A 2 for 1 kinda deal, or a “2 birds, 1 stone” deal , if you will.)If you’re lucky, I’ll post some whatnot in the humor section once it is up and running. I was once told by a wise man that you can’t treat every situation like its life or death, cause you’ll die a lot of times. Okay, so maybe I heard that from a movie. Anyways, I can’t help but think how difficult it will be to get out of the game, when I do that is, and in case some of you don’t know, I am planning on selling out before my collection looks less, um, good. I hope some of you also realize that I am one of the longest running Magic playing customers of Casey’s Party Creations. I don’t know if I will get out completely, since I know that some of the old players still crave a few games. Its like crack, in a sense. Or delicious high-fat creamy cupcakes, or an addictive cardboard card game. But whatever. This may sound kinda cheesy, but I want to make something of myself and I don’t want to “waste” much more time on something that has already claimed 4 ½ years of my life. Sure I love the time my friends and I hang out, but I guess I took it all for granted, because we won’t all be together forever. Nothing is perfect. I just hope my friends truly count me as a friend and realize that just because we know each other because of Magic, doesn’t mean that’s the only thing we have in common. Each of our personalities are so unique, and that’s what I look for in friends. I hope again that my friends realize I’d kick ass for them if they needed it, and sometimes kick their ass if they needed it (aka Phil or Doug ). I hope I have also made you guys laugh enough as to where all the mistakes I’ve made are outweighed (aka making fun of you guys for anything at all ). Man, did I get a lot of my chest or what? It may not have taken that long to read, but I think I’ve been at this for about 2 hours now. Hoo whee!!! To sum most of it up, I think that “the contest” should show a decent performance on both halves of the field. I don’t exactly think the turnout is gonna show much, but it should be “neat” yet surprisingly “rambunctious” and “raucous”, whatever the hell that means. Maybe I shouldn’t get adjectives from the back of movie boxes. I didn’t. I just made up some random crap. Furthermore and thus hence, I doth conclude that I shant use Old English anymore, and that I have made the article kind of a little awkward, but hey, I ain’t gettin payed. Or am I? No, I am not. Or am I? No. Well, its 5:19 am ladies. So I think my role is done for the night. And Adam, I am watching you sleep. You sure do snore!!! No. I’m kidding. You don’t snore. Good luck to the players in the battle that will rock the Midwest forever. The duel that will shape mankind’s evolution. The onslaught (ha, Magic reference ) that is sure to solve little. “The Contest” will ensue on some date that I am unaware of. Oh well. Can’t win ‘em all, right? No you can’t. Or can you? No, not likely. Or maybe you ca…ok, I’m done. And here are some of my favorite quotes: “The secret to success……….is success.” -some gay “helper” guy in Sim Theme Park Gold Ed. “I’m so funny, sometimes, I make other people laugh” -me, making fun of some guy who wears a Command and Conquer hat all the time “My momma hooked us up with some Diet Pepsi, yo.” -dear God, that’s a real quote some guy said when I was on vacation with him “Andrew has been winning due to help from his lucky Joe Cornell action figure” -the time I made an ass of Joe by pointing at a Jabba the Hutt plastic figure and saying it was him “Stop playing footsie with me you gay bastard” -Brad Mohr to Phil Fennig during a tournament game “HAHAHA” -Dave Nash, after hearing Brad say that “There is little more refreshing than hot diet pop on the summer solstice at noon” -me again, making fun of the guy above who’s “momma” “hooked” me and him up with some diet pepsi “You don’t play Magic anyways” -everyone else, referring to me, right fresh after just playing in a tournament “Oh dear God, it is now 6:20 am” -my thoughts at 6:20 am on Friday the whatever today’s date is in 2002 “I hope people like this article and Adam is appeased with my work I did for him” -I have NO idea where this came from, jigga what????????? |
Last changed: 08/01/2004 by AMWDirect any questions you may have to awhitlat@knox.edu
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“The Contest” and Other Comments on
Magic the Gathering