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And now, brought to you on a homework break away from processing registers, binary code, and arithmetic-logic units, a slightly less boring article.
Well, hopefully it won’t be that boring. Let me start by quoting Chris Shumard’s little phrase to refer to what deck I played for our first tournament of the year. “I’m playing an old friend.” You see, back before my blue days began, before the likes of Destan or Paul - days when the Joey Singers and Dave Nashs reigned supreme, I wasn’t a control player at all. In fact the first deck I ever played “competitively” was Sligh. As my current distaste for red decks confirms, I am no longer the player I once was. But there was a time in between playing impulsive red creatures and the actual card Impulse for me. A time where I always had a version of a deck that has a little fond place in my heart - White Weenie.
Fast forward to today - or last Saturday rather. Extended has again been neutered, the powerful cards again cut. The old standbys of Rock and Psychatog appear ready to increase their stranglehold on a format that becomes increasingly, at least to me, boring. I can only stand so much of the Tog vs. Rock vs. UG vs. random red deck matches before I completely lose interest. Going into this tournament, I knew I didn’t want to play one of those. Maybe it’s my dislike for mirror matches. Maybe I’ve had enough of Tog. Maybe it’s because Brian Kibler wrote an article on WW and I owe him at least some thanks for my Top 8. Whatever it may be, I ended up playing this:
4 Savannah Lions
4 Ramosian Sergeant
4 Whipcorder
4 Silver Knight
4 Soltari Monk
4 Exalted Angel
3 Parallax Wave
4 Armageddon
3 Crusade
2 Seal of Cleansing
4 Chrome Mox
16 Plains
4 Wasteland
SB:
3 Enlightened Tutor
2 Light of Day
2 Damping Matrix
1 Parallax Wave
3 Absolute Law
2 Rule of Law
2 Seal of Cleansing
I don’t know as though I felt confident in this deck, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Round 1: Rudy Martinez w/ Pcsyhatog (or however he spells it)
I didn’t want to play against Rudy’s Tog. He always finds some way to carry more creature elimination and more anti-speed strategies than most people. Game one goes as I want it to, for the most part. I get creatures out the first five turns, and cast ‘geddon on the sixth. But, alas, Rudy has a perfect assortment of counters and elimination to take care of them all AND cast Fact or Fictions while doing it. Ridiculous. I felt powerless. I eventually get a creature out, but it’s small and also meets a demise after only serving a few times. Parallax Wave ends up having to act as a four turn fog against a Tog. Damn you Rudy and your absurd draw of creature elimination. I side in the Light of Days and the Damping Matrixes. Game two doesn’t go any better. I don’t know how Rudy always has Force Spike, or how he always has a Smother, but he does. That, coupled with my draw of triple Parallax Wave does me in quickly.
Round 2: Matt Scott w/ Psychatog
Joy. Down a match and playing the same matchup. First game is so demoralizing. He has perfect answers as I stall on mana. I don’t understand how a deck with so many cheap creatures and so many mana sources has to worry about becoming stuck on mana. Grr. I eventually am eaten by a large Tog after he Fact or Fictions into two Fact or Fictions, and Accumulated Knowledge that would be for three, a Psychatog, and an Upheaval. I play the same sideboarding plan and must admit that I’m more than slightly frustrated. Game two starts off well…wait NO IT DIDN’T. I get no lands and mulligan to six. I get five lands and my only Seal of Cleansing. I mulligan to five, probably for the first time in my life. Here’s my hand : two Plains, an Enlightened Tutor, a Damping Matrix, and a Parallax Wave. Awesome. I’m playing first on a double mulligan, being down a game, and having lost a match. I lay a plains and say go. He plays a Salt Marsh, and that forces me to think. After a moment I decide to go for my plan. I Tutor for a Chrome Mox, draw it and proceed to imprint the Wave on it, play my other Plains and the Damping Matrix. I now have an empty hand and no creatures in play against a Tog deck with a full hand. He keeps laying lands, and answering my threats. Eventually, though, I get one to stick. I’m amazed that he doesn’t have answers for my stuff. He draws multiple Togs, which look lame while they’re all Damp. I sneak in the last points after drawing all four of my pro-black shadows. I won? I won…blink, blink. I don’t mean to rub it in, but JEEZUZ! Game three is the same except I have more cards. I get a trio of Crusade, Damping Matrix, and Light of Day out. Even a Rushing River can’t stop me for more than a turn. He’s forced to Upheaval early, which is never good for him. He draws no counters from there, and is left with nothing. Woohoo, my hopes have been saved when they were at the lowest. Never give up, never surrender. The white men prevail…er maybe I shouldn’t say it like that.
Round 3: ChrisT albert w/ Psychatog
How many Psychatogs are there in this tournament? Anyway, I don’t even know how to explain the first game. I cast things and attacked with them. They uh, killed him after he managed to kill a few and try some tricks. I bring in the usual assortment of Light of Day and the Matrix. However, I get an early Crusade, which turns out to be pivotal. He ends up with three Engineered Plague. Two are set to Rebel, and one is set to Cleric. Unfortunately for him, it’s nowhere near enough, and my creatures are still plenty big to deal with his Psychatog that’s under a Matrix. He still pulls off a few tricks, but I feel very in control of the game and the inevitable comes.
Lunchtime. We go to Arby’s and I get the chicken strips meal, with ranch dressing, curly fries, and some Dr. Slice. All-in-all a good meal. The fries were nice and warm for once. On the way out to the car, Chris winds up and chucks and extra sandwich at Eric, which then bursts apart in the air and flies into a half dozen pieces all over the snow. Chris then gets an idea to scoop it all up with some dirty snow into a nice “new Arby’s melt.” Upon returning to Casey’s Chris and Destan manage to get Talby to buy the sandwich. He grumbles that it’s cold. About ¾’s done with it, I gather everyone and start a story about how Chris at lunch had a Roast Beef that he threw and it fell all over the ground. Talbert quickly feels gay, and decides to “thank” Chris.
Round 4: Andrew Whitlatch w/ Suileet Black
I want to go through all my reports and tournaments and find what percentage of them I play Andrew. As a matter of fact, I think I will…There. 69.2%. Yes, out of the last 13 tournaments, I’ve played Andrew in more than 2/3’s of them. Sigh. He’s playing Suicide Black, which in our testing isn’t too great for him. Light of Day sideboard is even worse. It may as well read “Andrew cannot win.” It’s hard to argue at that point. The first game starts quickly for both of us. Andrew gets an early lead, but then the sheer power of my creatures and first strikers does it to him. Protection is too good. Parallax Wave is too good. And it’s only downhill from there for him. I bring in the Lights and the 4th Wave. He gets an amazing but risky start and has a double +3/+2’d Sarcomancy token. He Cabal Therapies my hand to oblivion, which leaves him winning the race. I draw, right after a Duress to see two lands…Parallax Wave. RIIIIP. He calls me a bastard and that’s pretty much game.
Round 5: David Nash w/ White Weenie
This is crazy - top table with two White Weenie decks. I’m not quite sure what his deck consists of, but I figure Exalted Angel would be decent. I realize at this point that I have yet to draw a Chrome Mox natually and also have yet to morph an Angel. Oh well. We start out playing creatures - surprise, surprise. I get on the offensive first and he pulls a few tricks like Raise the Alarm. We trade most of our creatures, save for two shadows of mine. I pull out the Armageddon, which seals the deal. I take out the Crusades, but can only bring in two more Seals and the fourth Wave. I can’t even take out any of the ‘geddons, due to a lack of boarding capabilities. I draw my Chrome Mox for the first time, and it proves its worth. I get the rebel engine going quickly and soon amass quite a formitble army. He’s hitting me with a shadow and a Suntail Hawk which somehow can carry an axe for +2/+0. I get a Parallax Wave, and so does he. We stall each other, until my creatures come back. I attack with very little room to spare when he pulls the dirtiest trick in the book…Holy Day. Who am I to ignore the Sabbath? My creatures bow down to whatever God they worship, and now I’ll have a new army of his returning. I have another Wave to slow the game down some more and even through another Wave of his, I have enough guys to eat the last points away. This was an interesting match- much more fun than the Tog ones.
I end up 4-1, but get third by Opp. Match-Win Percentage. My old friend played hard to get to start the day, but in the end she gave in. Now if only real life was so easy.
Props:
Andrew, for the cards he let me borrow.
Dave, head of the heap for the New Year. Bon Travail.
White Weenie, hey, it’s better than black.
Brian Kibler, again thanks for the decklist, bud.
Parallax Wave, for showing up in numbers.
Slops:
Eric, for uh…I don’t know. How about when he could have Therapied for the win and didn’t?
Dennis and Carla not being there. Not there fault, but it's so much cooler when
they're there.
Chrome Mox, for not showing up.
Opponent Match Win Percentages, thanks all my opponents for dropping after they lost.
Paul, for starting to quit.
Destan, for making Paul reshuffle, as though he could be cheating.
Fact or Fiction, for being too damn good. (this is usually in the Props for me ;) )
People who drop and don’t tell me, for being gay.
Toodles until next time,
-Adam Whitlatch-
awhitlat@knox.edu |
